You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
You understand my thoughts from far away.
You observe my travels and my rest;
You are aware of all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue,
You know all about it, LORD.
You have encircled me;
You have placed Your hand on me.
This extraordinary knowledge is beyond me.
It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.
It is often my desire to be known, to be understood, for people to see straight to the heart behind the things I do and say. It's a selfish thing really, and my pride is to blame. Lately I've been trying to understand rather than to be understood, to hear rather than be heard, to watch in admiration at the way people think and act and are rather than to be watched and admired. And it is so reassuring to know when I am overwhelmed with the desire for other people to do the same to me that there is someone who not only sees and understands me, but knows me intimately - and guess what, he knows the selfish and prideful thoughts just as well as he knows the kind and pure-hearted things..but loves me all the same.
For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I will praise You,
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well.
My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.
Wow. How intimate! Where in our hearts is there room for insecurity when the God of all the earth sees the most intimate and secretive parts of us and loves us so so so much? Where do we lack beauty when we are remarkably and wonderfully knit together piece by piece by the God of beauty? Where do we find worry and paralyzing regret when our days were written before we could plan a single one of them??
God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend;
how vast their sum is!
If I counted them, they would outnumber the grains of sand;
when I wake up, I am still with You.
Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.
In a self-praising society we are inspired to "discover ourselves," understand who we are, find a reason to love ourselves. Finding ourselves is difficult, so we admire the people we think "have it all figured out." As for figuring ourselves out, there's someone who already has - who understands you and me down to why we chew our food the way we do. Shouldn't we trust God's understanding of us more than we trust our own?..much less someone else's? So rise to a bigger challenge:
"God, how difficult Your thoughts are for me to comprehend; how vast their sum is!"
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