Not defined by feelings

Going through life we feel lots of things. Tingles, nervousness, butterflies, hope, all the things in between happy and sad that don't really have words in the english language. Someone told me other day, "I just don't think you need to go to church to get that feeling." ..What feeling does he mean, I wonder? The feeling of security? The feeling of clearing a guilty conscience? A good feeling I suppose..But since when is going to church meant for producing a certain feeling? Yes, I often feel things at church..but it isn't self-sufficiency, or whatever he meant he can feel without going to church. Maybe it's fullness...but I usually feel unsettled at church, because I am convicted by the Holy Spirit or hear a word from God that shakes me up inside...yes, itsamazinggggg, but not always a good feeling. In fact, I feel closest to the Lord when I cry. Cry, hmm I do it all the time..for me it's like a point of humility...a point of, "
Lord, here in your presence I am vulnerable and weak," a lack of self-sufficiency..an obvious need for a God much bigger than myself."

2 Corinthians 2:9a - "But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you. For my power is made perfect in weakness."

I just don't think he means he can feel weak without going to church..

Yes, Jesus makes us feel things, but satan makes us feel things as well..sometimes we feel things that are harmful to us. Do you remember being 15 when your range of emotions would go from A to Z all in one day?? Do you remember feeling and unfulfilled longing?, an eagerness for something you didn't have?, a passion that was fleeting and left you insecure? We feel something when we see something in a store that we really want. We feel something when we see commercials of needy kids or abused animals. We feel something when we look in the mirror and don't like what we see. We feel something when we get flowers and a cute note from someone special. We feel something when we see our family for the first time after a long trip (although that might be the closest to any supposed church feeling for me). Fun fact: The part of our brain that controls our emotions doesn't fully develop until age 25.

My point is this - feelings are uncertain. You can't always help what you feel.

But certainty is this: Jesus died on the cross for you and me, so that we could experience a life so full, so purposeful, so everlasting. How can you boil that down to a feeling? haha, praise God my eternity isn't based on how I feel at the moment...praise God that He will still speak to me when I don't feel like spending time with Him...praise God that I am able to feel things, but that my feelings don't change my identity in Jesus Christ.

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Lord, thank you that I can feel You..at home, at church, walking down the street, wherever, whenever. And thank you that my spiritually is not defined by feelings. By the way, I'm in love with you <3

-Laura